Gason mwen Sandley (My son Sandley)

Hello, my friends. I would like to take some time to talk to you about my relationship with my son, Sandley. First off, a little background, for those who don’t know me well or haven’t heard this before. I have always had a strange, irrational fear of small children. Now please don’t get me wrong, its not that I don’t like or love them, but small kids have always just caused me to panic. I’m not really sure what or why I have this reaction; I have a theory that’s it has something to do with the fact that I have always been really overweight, and I was always afraid that I would accidentally step on and hurt a little one. Not sure if this is the reason or not, but it’s the only thing that I can think of to explain my reaction to small children.

Upon answering God’s call for my life to serve in Haiti at NWHCM, I knew my life would be changed in ways that I could only imagine. But I have to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for Sandley.

My first Sunday in Haiti, I sat outside of Church with Stephanie Mosier and Heather Meyer, the 2 amazing ladies that run the Miriam Center, the special needs orphanage here. I tried to explain my calling to Haiti to them; that I was here to help fix what they needed so they could focus more on their ministry, and not worry about the small stuff. I told them how much I admired what they were doing and that I would help out however I could, but I did warn them about my fear of children.

A few days later, we were all hanging out in our staff lounge at the end of the day, when Stephanie came in carrying the smallest, most awkward little child I had ever seen. His little back was arched into a painful backwards C shape. His were so thin you could see every bone through his skin. He had bulging arm muscles, and his fists were clenched as if he was ready for a fight. Huge brown eyes filled his tiny, mostly bald head, and he had a perpetually grumpy look on his face, which only got worse when he cried. As we sat talking, Stephanie said she forgot something downstairs, laid Sandley in my lap, and headed for the door. As I fumbled with the little guy, not really knowing how to hold him, he looked at me and started to wail (honestly, I felt like doing the same thing.) But as we sat there, we both calmed down and Sandley slowly started clutching my arm as I held him. That was all it took. Stephanie came back and took Sandley back, but it was too late, he had his hooks in me.

Throughout the next week or so I made excuses to visit Sandley down in the Miriam Center, and to ask the ladies about his story. Sandley came to the Miriam Center with Heather, when she moved from the orphanage she worked with close to the Dominican Republic (For more of Sandley’s back story, check out Heather’s blog at: www.heathermmeyer.blogspot.com) about 2 weeks before I moved to Haiti. I don’t know why, but that seemed to cement our bond even more, we were both in a strange new place alone. As I began to spend more time with Sandley, both Stephanie and Heather were very patient with my constant asking of questions, as far as how to hold and care for him. They were very kind to help me learn how to provide the support he needed, to feed and burp him, and eventually to even change his diapers!



Sandley & Kem



Sandley very much became my lifeline here in Haiti. No matter how hard a day I had, no matter how frustrated, how hot, how tired, how down I was, a little time with Sandley made things better. He helped me to get my focus back on the things in life that matter. One of my biggest struggles in my time here has been with not really knowing my place here, not really knowing what I was called here for. As I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and just not fitting in, the one thing that was constant was my son, Sandley. Many were the nights when, not able to sleep, I would hear him crying downstairs and I would go and get him and just sit and hold him until the sun came up.



Sandley's 2nd Birthday



When I left for a week in June, I struggled with having to leave Sandley here, and I was really trying not to think about how I would leave for 2 months in November. I knew he would be in very good hands, but still, how could I leave my son? I know adoption here is pretty much not an option, especially for a divorced, 39 year old man. So the next best thing I could think of was to start working on getting a medical visa for Sandley, so that not only could he travel home with me, but I could also seek medical testing and treatment for him while in the states.

On October 25^th, Sandley left his earthly home and went to be with our Father in heaven. He had been a little sick the previous couple days, nothing too serious, just diarrhea. He had been doing better, getting Pedialyte every couple hours, but then passed sometime quietly early that morning. I was upstairs at our morning devotions when my friend Ashley came to get me and said they needed me downstairs. As I walked into the Miriam Center to the small group of people huddled around Sandley’s bed, I can never forget the sight of Stephanie holding him, with tears in her eyes as she told me he had passed. She handed his tiny body to me, which I clutched to my chest as the tears flowed down my face. I’ve lost many loved ones in my life, but this was different. I simply shut down, just standing there holding the body of my son, praying that somehow it was a mistake, that I would feel him take a breath, that I would once again hear his distinctive wail. Ashley and Stephanie invited me into their room, where we could mourn privately, away from the normal hustle and bustle of morning in the Miriam Center. As we sat in the quiet and I slowly stroked Sandley’s head, I tried to regain my composure, to be strong, to push my feelings of pain and loss down, so I wouldn’t have to deal with them. (I know, not very healthy, but it’s what I do.) I tried to focus on what needed to be done; only really allowing myself to cry whenever everyone left the room. (Again, not very healthy.) Luckily for me, as we started talking about plans, contacting Sandley’s mom etc., life here at the mission pulled me away as my phone rang, and I went to fix a couple of things for the surgical team that was here. As I walked around the mission, numbly going from one task to another, I kept hoping that I would wake up, that it was a nightmare, that Sandley wasn’t gone. I would periodically check back in to see what needed to be done for Sandley’s funeral. We wanted to respect his mother’s wishes as best we could as well as honor any Haitian customs.

We had a small funeral service for Sandley that afternoon at the mission. I was able to kiss his little head one last time as I placed him in the tiny coffin, then stood off to the side as the funeral began. There was much prayer and singing, and a short sermon by Pastor John Barnes, a former missionary here at NWHCM and a good friend of mine. Following the service, I was engulfed by hugs and kisses from the Miriam Center staff, as well as many of the other staff from the mission. About 15 of us loaded up into a tap-tap to head to the cemetery, where Sandley was laid to rest in a crypt owned by the mission.

The next few days were very hard. I found myself going down to feed Sandley, forgetting that he’s not there. I would stand upstairs, staring down into the Miriam Center where his bed used to hang. I tried to avoid the Miriam Center and the other children that I have come to know and love, just because it was too hard to hide my pain from them. I tried to stay busy, to keep my mind occupied, but spent a lot of time by myself, hiding, trying to figure out how to go on.

In my mind, I know Sandley is in heaven, happy and healthy. My heart is heavy and broken, though, and I’m not sure how to go on. As much as I am hurting, I have to acknowledge the great gifts and changes in my life that Sandley has inspired. Through my time with Sandley, I have spent a lot of time with the rest of the kids in the Miriam Center, and have come to love all of them. I have grown from being afraid and nervous around them, to caring and loving them more than I could have believed possible.

I have always felt a secret, deep sadness I would never be a father; would never know the joy of being a dad. God has granted me my greatest wish, although not in the way I would have thought. That’s kind of the way He works, though. Sandley was my son, always will be, and even though are time together in this world was short; I know that we’ll be together for eternity.  

Since Sandley’s passing, I have been flooded by thoughts and prayers from people who met Sandley during a trip here to NWHCM. For such a little man, he touched many, many lives, and I have been blessed by the stories and pictures that they have shared with me.

I have struggled a lot with Sandley’s death. I feel hollow and broken inside, barely able to talk about Sandley or look at pictures of him, yet finding myself breaking down at odd times, crying for my lost son. My hope in writing this is that I’ll be able to start healing. Letting the story which, is too hard to speak out loud, come out in writing.

As I prepare for my return to Haiti, I am excited and ready to get back to my missionary family, the kids, and the work that the Lord has prepared me for, but part of me is still saddened about being back in Haiti without Sandley. I praise and thank God daily for the way He has broken me, only to raise me back up and grow me into the type of servant and man He wants me to be. I know my future is in Haiti, and I know that God will continue to use me there, to serve the Kingdom and people of Haiti.

Dancing with Roseloure

This is my friend Roseloure (pronounced Rose-Lore), a bright and bubbly 8 year old girl who lives in the Miriam Center. She always has a beautiful smile on her face, and her laugh can dissolve even the foulest mood that I have experienced.

I received a lot of counsel from friends, family and other missionaries about my expectations upon coming to Haiti. I know that I cannot be a single great force to save the country. I won’t end hunger, I won’t cure Cholera, and I won’t bring the country out of the slavery of voodoo and into the presence of God. Missionary work is all about allowing God to use you for His purpose, it’s not about you, it’s about the Kingdom. I fully understand that, I am here simply to serve, no matter who or how, for the glory of God.

All that being said, I have still struggled since I have been in Haiti with exactly where and how I fit in at the mission, where I belong.  As I attempt to serve all of the ministries and missionaries here, I find that I always feel like an outsider, I’m involved in the ministry, but not really a part of it.  Part of my struggle revolves around why I came here in the first place. Maintenance is a hard thing to pin down, my days can involve a little bit of everything, from unclogging toilets to loading and unloading crates with the forklift to building shelves for a depot. Some days are worse, spending countless hours trying to track down the money or the supplies just to fix a minor problem, and when that fails having to “Redneck Engineer” a temporary solution. These are all jobs that need doing, but at the end of the day, it’s hard to feel like you’ve accomplished much, really made a difference. Now don’t get me wrong, I knew most of this going in. I have worked maintenance at my church with people I love and consider family for the last 5 years, and even there, sometimes it was a struggle to feel like I “fit in”. Actually, I’ve struggled with this all of my life; I guess I just didn’t realize how much more these feelings would affect me in Haiti. It’s been bad enough that I have, much to the annoyance of some of my fellow missionariesJ, tried to make a place for myself in their ministries. I’ve tried to create worth by involving myself in places where I’m not really needed or wanted.

Anyway, let’s get back to Roseloure. Ever since I was “adopted” by my boy Sandley in the Miriam Center, I have spent a lot of time with the kids there, have been slowly getting over my fear of small children, and have really enjoyed getting to know the kids. A few days ago, I was down in the MC, there was music playing, and Roseloure was dancing around. She came up to me and held out her arms, and without thinking, I swept her up I’m my arms and danced her around the courtyard, much to her delight. Now, this may be hard to believe for those of you who don’t know me, but I am not a dancer. In fact, I have never actually danced with anyone before in my life. But none of that mattered to Roseloure, who was smiling and giggling as I spun her around and around. Since that time, there have been several times, as I’m passing through the MC, that Roseloure and I will “cut a rug”.

So, it occurred to me as I was smiling and thinking of our latest dance, that maybe I have been blinded by my own need to be a part of something, that I can’t see what I really am a part of. As I look for significance in fixing a problem at the mission, accomplishing a certain task, in belonging to something or in being part of a team, am I missing the true reason that God has called me here? My life, heart and soul have so been changed by my relationship with Sandley that it quite frankly scares me. When he cries, my heart breaks. The thought of having to leave him in November brings tears to my eyes even now. As more and more of the kids work their way into my heart, is that why I am here? Is my calling here simply to help feed, comfort, love (and yes, even change his diapers) Sandley? Am I here to help Den-Den up when he falls, to joke with Gilbert, to make Kem, Sherlanda and Walden laugh when I sneak up on them and “scare” them, to be as much a part of their lives as I can? Am I here to dance with Roseloure?

Maybe so. Maybe I’m here to serve and be a witness for what God can do with and through a thoroughly unimpressive, messed up, broken sinner who has been saved only by His Grace and Mercy. In the end, that’s all I really have that I can offer, living my life as a testimony for what God’s love can do for everyone. Instead of searching for significance, instead of what I think I need or want, I should just serve how I can, quit my whining and let God use me as He wants.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace, Your salvation, and mostly for allowing me to serve You and the Kingdom in Haiti. I pray that You grant me the ability to be a good witness of Your glory and grace, and I pray that I can be the man you want me to be, serving how you want me to serve. I will go where You tell me to go, I will serve how You want me to serve, and I will try to love just like You have shown Your love to me and the world. Amen.

Experiencing Haiti

The first week of august was fairly significant in our lives here at the mission. Not only did it signify the last group of short term teams for the year, but it was also when all of our interns from the summer headed home.  It’s kind of bittersweet, it’s a lot calmer around here when all the groups are gone, but it also means that there is a lot less ministry going on. Plus, saying goodbye to a bunch of great interns that you have come to know and love. It’s kind of like losing a whole bunch of your family all at once.

However, I was super excited because my sister Corinna came in with the last group for a visit! Not only was it great to see here and visit, but I also was able to go out with her and experience Haiti. It had occurred to me that other than a coup0le of trips with the Miriam Center kids to Bonneau, I really had not left the Saint Louis campus since I’ve been here in March. Not that there weren’t plenty of opportunities in the last few months, but there just always seemed to be so much to do around here. I had decided that, since I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Corinna while she was here, I would take the opportunity to tag along with her group as they went out around the country.

It was really a great but tiring week! As well as doing all my regular work around campus, I was able to sneak out and do some “hut to huts”, where we just went out into the community, going where the spirit lead, and stopping at homes to talk with the families and to pray with and for them. This was an interesting experience, just walking out through the area around the mission, searching out those that we felt led to find, and praying for them.

We took off one morning for the isle of Tortuga, just about an hour sailboat ride off the coast of Haiti. It was a beautiful sail to the island, although I have to admit I’m not a big fan of the ride J Once we made it to Tortuga, our group split up into two, one providing a VBS and playing with the local kids for a couple of hours, the other group ran a medical clinic for the time we were there. Can you guess which one I was a part of? That’s right! I was blessed to help out the nurse and 2 medical students that were with us that week, to help organize and disperse the needed meds they prescribed. It was very interesting seeing the variety of medical issues coming in, but it was difficult (and I’m sure very difficult for the medical people) to try to help people with the meager medical supplies that we had to offer. But, they did a great job, and before you knew it we had seen around 30 – 40 patients and it was time to pack up our goodies, head to the beach, and wade out to the boat and start the trip back.

The next day we traveled to Anse Lafleur (pronounced Awn-sah-fa-lore), a town on the coast where unfortunately the practice of Voodoo is still extremely prevalent. I was very interested to go to, as I have been interested in trying to learn more about the “religion” of voodoo, and why people would choose to believe in a “faith” based in fear, intimidation and pain. The trip to Anse Lafleur was as uneventful as any other road trip in Haiti, and soon we were pulling over on a side street in town. We got out and started walking up towards a pretty steep looking hill. When asked, our Intern guides said it was an easy 10 minute walk up to the Monument. At this point, I would like to stop to express my amazement at what some people would consider an easy walk. As I clambered up the hill, climbing over rocks and past small Voodoo alters, I began to wonder if this was just some kind of hazing ritual our interns had come up with to torment the teams, but finally, we rounded a corner and were presented with a beautiful view of the ocean and Anse Lafleur, as well as the broken and scorched remnants of a huge cross. The story goes that many years ago, the Catholic Church built an enormous cross overlooking Anse, in order to claim the town for Christ. Sometime later, the cross collapsed in a huge storm, and at the same time a “magic” doll fell from the sky, so everyone in town took that as a sign, and embraces voodoo and the doll as their god. The doll is still enshrined in town, and apparently for the right price, you can get in to see her. Or there are all sorts of comemerative  souvenirs for sale in town J

Anyway, back to the monument. We gathered at the base of the monument and prayed for the people of Haiti, that they would be released from the bondage of voodoo and come to know the love of Christ. Following our prayer, we ventured back down the mountain to a small private beach, where we did a short VBS and spent some time just playing with the kids. A couple hours later, after we were all thoroughly exhausted, we loaded up, stopped for a quick bite at a local restaurant, and headed back toward St. Louis.

One Afternoon we took the walk down through town and to the waterfall, about an hour and a half away. It was a nice, fairly simple walk, and we soon ended up at the waterfall.  The waterfall itself wasn’t huge, but was quite beautiful, and it was really nice to see some of the natural beauty of Haiti, and just relax for a bit.

As we were walking back, I was smacked really hard on the top of my head by something, hard enough to snap my teeth together and stagger me a bit. As I turned around to see who had hit me with what, the people behind were laughing and pointing at a huge mango that apparently had fallen from the tree and cracked me right on the head. The Haitians all assured me that it is a sign of good luck, but the lump on my head said otherwise J (and yes, I did take my vengeance on the mango and ate it)

 One of my favorite activities was to go with the short term group and the Miriam Center kids to Bonneau, a playground about a half hour bus ride away, built for the Miriam Center kids. This was an especially fun trip for me as I got to take Sandley along for his first time. We rode down the slide together; we got to go see a cow and a goat. It was a wonderful morning spent with all the MC kids, but especially great to share with Sandley and Corinna!

 One of the last things we did was to go and spend some time at the nearby city of LaPointe. Right next to the hospital in LaPointe, is a small orphanage that is mainly geared towards helping kids who are rehabbing from surgeries or injuries, but has become

We arrived and set up for a short lesson and craft with the kids, then the fun really began!  We broke out tons of bubbles, jump ropes, balls and other fun stuff and spent a couple of hours just playing with the kids. It was really a lot of fun, and I think that we were as sad to go as they were to see us go.

 This was really a great week, to not only get to see Haiti, but to share it with family as well! I’ll admit, some of the things I am more than happy to say that I tried once, and don’t necessarily need to do again, but some of the experience I hope to be able to do again soon!

I am a Missionary....

One of  my missionary friends here had found this and posted it on Facebook. I liked it and thought I would share it.

My calling is sure. My challenge is big. My vision is clear. My desire is strong. My influence is eternal. My impact is critical. My values are solid. My faith is tough. My mission is urgent. My purpose is unmistakable. My direction is forward. My heart is genuine. My strength is supernatural. My reward is promised. And my God is real. I refuse to be dismayed, disengaged, disgruntled, discouraged, or distracted. Neither will I look back, stand back, fall back, go back or sit back. I do not need applause, flattery, adulation, prestige, stature or veneration. I have no time for business as usual, mediocre standards, small thinking, normal expectations, average results, ordinary ideas, petty disputes or low vision. I will not give up, give in, bail out, lie down, turn over, quit or surrender. I am a missionary. That is what I do.

While I can’t say that I am all that is described here, I do see myself, and I know I am ever growing as He leads.

6/28/12 ~ HARD

If I had to some up my thoughts and feelings about Haiti, “Hard” is about the best I can come up with. As the last two months has crawled by here, I have come to the unerring conclusion that everything about Haiti is hard. Haiti is incredibly hard on everything. The rough roads beat vehicles to pieces. The salt air causes everything to rust in no time. The heat and humidity make life miserable for everyone. The water, when you find it is full of calcium and other assorted nasty things and will probably get you sick.  The ground is thin and rocky, and the only thing that grows the most is mosquitoes, which again, will probably get you sick. Haiti is really hard on the people who live here, making them old before their time, and wearing them down. Everything about Haiti is so difficult, it really makes me wonder if anyone should actually live here, or just abandon the whole country to the insects and go somewhere better. Haiti is really, really hard on missionaries. Trust me, I speak from personal experience. I have been bitten by more mosquitoes then I can count, and continue to be their favorite snack! I have heat rash, I can barely sleep. Most days I’m so exhausted and dehydrated that just making it through the day is a chore. I have several weird sores on my legs that won’t seem to go away, and I have a fungus on my big toe that I think may cause it to fall off soon. The food ranges from bland to scary (if I never again have to eat beans & rice, it would be too soon), and you quickly learn to eat for the purpose of living, not to enjoy.

Haiti is hard, and I can truthfully say that if someone offered me a plane ticket home tomorrow, I would go. I would go back home to Indiana, enjoy some time with all my friends and family, eat some good food, and sleep in my bed. It would be great.

Then, I would re-supply, pack back up and head back to Haiti.

Here’s the thing: No matter how hard Haiti is, no matter how much it feels sometimes like the entire country is trying to kill me, I have seen the beauty here, and I know now more than ever that I have been called to serve here. I have seen the beauty of a people and a country, that no matter how much the devil tries to hurt them, still stand tall and worship the Lord with all their might. I have seen the beauty of lives that have been changed in the Miriam Center, where children with special needs ( who are abandoned and shunned by Haitian society) are growing and flourishing, learning to walk, to talk, even going to school. I have seen beauty as the Miriam center has reached out to parents of these kids, showing them how to love and care for them, changing the attitudes, one family at a time. I have seen beauty in the lives that have been changed through visiting surgical teams, who work tirelessly, helping as many patients as they can, fixing everything from Hernias to Club Feet and anything in between. I have heard beauty in the sound of newborn babies, delivered safely in our Birthing Center. I have seen beauty in the faces of the Gran Moun, the elderly who live on campus. In Haitian society, if you’re too old to work, you’re too old to eat, so many of these people would be left to die. Yet here they have a place, a society, a reason to go on. I have seen the beauty of a church service, filled to overflowing, with praise and devotion so powerful, you think the roof is going to come off the church. And i have seen the beauty in a people, that no matter how hard their life is, that are quick to smile, to tell you hello, to offer a hand in friendship. And I have seen the beauty of God’s love in the passion, commitment, caring, dedication and love of the American missionaries that I am privileged to serve alongside. They are simply amazing people, and I count myself blessed daily to be able to work with them, to help them by supporting their ministries, using my God given gifts and talents to serve our Lord and Savior!

IIn my time in Haiti, I have been broken by God again and again. Everytime I think I have a handle on my life here, God shows me again and again how wrong I was. I have come to look forward to learning everyday what new ways I can be stretched, what new ways God can show me how to truly feel others pain, how to truly love, how to truly serve. I don’t claim to know the future, nor what God has planned for me. I do know that I have been called to serve in Haiti, and I serve with a glad heart, a weary body, and the knowledge that great things are being done for the Kingdom, and I am honored to answer Jesus’ call in Luke 10:2

He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Haiti is an amazingly hard, extensively difficult, brutally demanding country. What better place can there be to serve?

4/12/12 ~ A Day in the Life..

Hey all, I just wanted to do a quick update, and share with you a day in the life, so to speak, of a maintenance person in Haiti.

Problem: Need to install a new washer and dryer to be used by the Miriam Center.

Hurdle: Water and electricity already run, appliances moved into place, just need a hose for the washer, a exhaust line for the dryer and a cord for the dryer.

Solution:

In the U.S. ~ Run to Wal-Mart, pick up needed supplies, return home and install hoses, test washer and dryer.

In Haiti ~
1) Talk to plumbing guy on campus to determine we don't have what we need here. Best bet is to find the parts in Port du Paix.

2) Get cash for parts and travel to Port du Paix, walk to downtown St Louis and board a tap-tap to PdP. ( The funny thing about this experience, when me and my guide boarded the tap-tap, there were only 5 people in the bed of the truck. by the time we got to Port du Paix, there were 38 people, 2 boxes of clothes, about 10 cases of empty beer bottles, a ton of bananas and assorted fruit, some empty diesel cans, etc)

3) Arrive in PdP, disembark from tap-tap and begin searching local "hardware stores" for needed parts. Cant find parts, but every place suggests somewhere else to try.

4) No parts at nearest places, so we board 2 moto's (scooters) and widen our search area for parts. (and yes, before you ask, the sight of me hanging on to a small Haitian on the back of a beat up little scooter, flying through the streets did get quite a few strange looks)

5) After about 2 hours, 250 Haitian Gourds (equal to 50 Haitian dollars or about $ 6.25 U.S.) and too many stores to count, we determine that no matter how many back-alley places we visit, they either don't have the parts, or we just can't find them, we decide the parts may be in Port au Prince, so we head our motos back to where the tap-taps gather on the outskirts of PdP, and head home to St Louis. Did I mention that it is raining by now?

6) Pile into a different tap-tap to head for St Louis ( this one is a smaller truck, with only about 17 people in the back, plus cargo. This truck also has the endearing trait of dying every time he stops, and only wants to start back up about half the time, necessitating the driver to get out and whack the starter with a piece of metal to get it started)

7) Return to St. Louis campus with no parts, no hope of parts, and 350 Gourds lighter.

8) New goal is to try and find out tomorrow where they got the parts for the other washers and dryers on campus at the last time, and go from there.

9) Take a shower, call it a night and dream of a Wal-Mart or Home Depot opening up just down the street.

10) Wake up tomorrow and start again!

One undeniable conclusion I have reached about my service in Haiti, is that it will be an adventure, and will most assuredly teach me about patience. thank you God for allowing me to serve your Kingdom, and for all of the great blessing you have shown me!


Good night all, and God bless you all!

Justin

4/1/12 ~ Safe and Sound

Well, after much stress and anxiety, I finally made it here to my new home in St. Louis du Nord Haiti! It's been a long journey to get here, not necessarily physically, but spiritually and emotionally as well. After years of praying for god to show me a place to serve, I am here and ready to go. it has been very bittersweet leaving my friends and family back home, but I (and they) know that this is where God wants me to be, and i know I go with their prayers and support.
I was welcomed to my new home with open arms, much happiness and the promise of plenty of things that need doing. Even though the campus has changed quite a bit since September, it really does feel good to be back, and I'm excited to get to work.

The journey itself was actually pretty smooth, other that a big rain storm that delayed my flight from Indy to Miami. Instead of getting into Miami about 9pm, we ended up getting there about 11:30, which made for a very short night when I had to leave back for the airport at 4am. But that's probably OK, i don't think I could have slept much, even if i had the time :-) I got to meet a lady named Barb on the shuttle to the airport who was also traveling to Northwest. She is from Indiana as well, but her flight schedule had routed her through Cincinnati, so we didn't meet until that evening. She had been to NWHCM several times, and was returning for the week. It was great to have somebody to talk to in the shuttle and in the airport. Once in the airport, we met up with several other groups that were going down, and we all had a good time hanging out in the airport.

The flight to Haiti went without problem, and i was pleased to see that all of my luggage made it to Haiti. After the maddening rush of getting our luggage, going through customs and finding Jacques (the gentleman from NWHCM whose daunting job it is to get all of us off of planes and where we need to go, as well as getting us out when we leave) we made our way outside where we split up. Most of the group would be taking the bus ride to St. Louis and barb and I were flying. We left the group and all our luggage at the bus, and headed to the airport, where we waited several hours for another couple of groups to come in that were on different flights to Haiti. Once everyone was there, we waited for the next flight to Port du Paix, when another small problem presented itself. We had 18 missionaries (including myself) heading to PdP, but the plane only holds 17. So, I volunteered to hang out for the next flight, and let the others go. I figured I'm here for 7 months, i can wait a little bit. About 2 hours later I boarded the plane to head out.
The ride from PdP to St Louis was as exciting as ever, and I finally made it to the campus just in time for dinner (after a round of greetings and hugs), then took a look at my new digs. It was a great blessing that Ed Ginter, who had just left Haiti, left me a bunch of things to help get me settled. It is such a blessing, not only for the stuff, but for the thoughts and care he left to help me feel at home. Thanks Ed, you're a great guy and i hope we meet again someday.
Well, that's all for now. I have a bunch of pictures, but i have not been able to figure out a way to get them from Ipod to computer to Blog. (if anyone has any suggestions, please shoot me a line) But I'm hopeful I will get them up sometime.
Have a great and blessed day, week and Easter, and may God bless you all!
in His name,
Justin

3/25/12 ~ 5 days and counting

The last couple of weeks have been really tough for me. It’s been very hectic, trying to get everything done that I need to get done (packing, re-packing, cleaning, training my replacement at church, etc) and just generally trying to get everything done so that I can head to Haiti and know that everything here is taken care of. Or at least as well as I can be. I’m sure that I haven’t thought of everything, but I planned as best I could. Kind of like my packing for Haiti, it’s really hard to plan what I’ll need for 7 months, as well as what I’ll want, comfort wise. Plus all of the tools that I think I’ll need make for several very full suitcases (I hope American Airlines has a sense of Humor on their weight limit), and a carry-on packed to the gills! I feel pretty well prepared, but I’m sure that once I get there I’ll find several things that I haven’t thought of.

An interesting G.A.W. (God at work) moment = I’ve been trying not to worry (with little success) about my move to Haiti, as well the people and things I’m leaving behind. I know that God has big plans for me, and I know that my life, all of the peaks and valleys, has been in preparation for this missionary journey. I know that, yet still I worry. Anyway, as I was searching yesterday for a particular Bible passage before church, I came across the following verse:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” ~ Matthew 6:25-27 NIV

It still amazes me sometimes how God will give us answers, most of the time before we even ask the question. All we need to do is read the owner’s manual (a.k.a. the Bible) and our problems are resolved. Thank you God for giving us Your word to study and learn from!

Probably the hardest thing that I’ve been dealing with is saying goodbye to all of my friends and family. I’m not really big on goodbyes, I’d much rather just kind of disappear one day. It’s easier to hide your emotions that way. Nonetheless, I was really touched by the friends of mine, saying goodbye and wishing me well. I was even awarded the “Golden Plunger” by the staff at Cornerstone! A truly great honor, reserved for only the best and brightest!

Having such a strong group of family supporting and praying for me is a blessing beyond measure, and I am eternally grateful to all of you, and I look forward to keeping up with you via email, and seeing you in November. Although I may not have shown it much, you all mean the world to me, and I love you all!

Until next time,

BONDJE BENI OU !

3/11/12 ~ Ups and Downs

Hello all, I hope that you are all well, and firstly I would like to apologize for the tardiness of this post. The month of February has been full of a lot of ups and downs for me, and it’s been hard for me to write about. I’m getting back on track, and I appreciate your patience.

February 15^th marked the first anniversary of my sister’s death. Michelle was a great person, with a great heart full of compassion. She spent most of her life caring for others as a nurse, doing pediatrics and home health care. Michelle and I were very alike in a lot of ways, which is probably why we didn’t always get along the best, but I loved her and we all miss her dearly. I look forward to the day when I will again walk with her and my parents on the streets of Heaven someday.

A couple of weeks ago, we held a “Hearts for Haiti” fundraiser and I was overwhelmed by the response I had. The number of people that volunteered, donated items for the silent auction and showed up to eat and wish me well has touched me more than I can say. I’ve wasted  a lot of my life telling myself, and being told by others, that I’m really just not that much of a person. That I don’t really matter. These feelings are something that I have fought with and against for a long time, and the outpouring of love and support I have received from my church family have meant more to me than I can ever say. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful church family, and I thank Him for them daily. As I prepare for my service for the Lord, I know they will be alongside of me, covering me in prayer.

I am truly blessed indeed!

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." ~ Ephesians 2:4-10 NIV

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' …

Hello everyone, I hope that you are all doing well, and enjoying the weird weather we’re experiencing this winter / spring. Not that I’m complaining, but it just doesn’t seem right that we’ve had days in the 50’s, and had hardly any snow this winter. Perhaps mother nature is just trying to help me acclimate me a little closer to Haitian weather. Or maybe we’re just being set up for the other shoe to drop, so to speak J

It’s hard for me to believe we’re already into the first week of February. My time before I start my service in Haiti is slowly fading away, and sometimes it’s seems like there’s just not enough time to get everything done that needs doing. I have gotten my plane tickets, so I’m officially leaving on the evening of March 30^th, flying to Miami, the continuing on Haiti on the next morning. I’ll serve the people of Haiti with the men and women of NWHCM, then return to the states on November 7^th, where I’ll meet with a NWHCM representative in Savannah, then returning home to Indiana on the 8^th. Now that I have plane tickets and a set date to leave, I’m starting to feel more of a sense urgency to get things done, but I’m just taking deep breaths, saying a prayer for peace, and working on getting things done bit by bit.

On another note, I am very excited that to date I have received monthly pledges to cover just a little over half of  my needs while serving in Haiti. I am very grateful for all of you who have chosen to step out in faith and partner with me. While I still have a way to go, I am not worried, because I know that God is with me, and has plans for my service in Haiti, and I know that he will provide! As it says in Luke, chapter 11: 9-10

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I am still in need of partners willing to join with me as I serve our God in Haiti, and I hope that you all will consider joining with me. I know that times are tough, the economy is bad, and we are all pulled in many directions. I also know that God has richly blessed all of us, and that the more freely and generously we give, the more we receive. We are called by God to step out in faith, and I would encourage everyone to commit to supporting a missionary this year. Of course, I would love for you to partner with me, but if not, there are thousands of men and women serving God and the Kingdom throughout the world. I would encourage you to partner with one of them, and learn the joy of helping to expand the Kingdom!

On Sunday, February 19^th  following services at FCC, we are hosting a “Hearts for Haiti” fundraising dinner. For $5 a person you can have a great dinner (Spaghetti with choice of sauce, salad, bread, dessert and a drink), enjoy some fellowship and learn more about Northwest Haiti Christian Mission, their ministry in Haiti, and my impending service with them. We will also be having some live entertainment and a great silent auction, with all of the proceeds going to help support my work in Haiti. I would love for anyone in the Brazil area to come out on the 19th, have some great food and learn how Northwest Haiti and I are serving, and ways that you too can be involved in Haiti!

I pray that you all stay well, and I would love to speak with you in more detail about the need in Haiti, and my service there. If you would like to reach me, you can either contact me at the church office (812-446-2214) or by email at servinginhaiti@yahoo.com

Have a great night and weekend, and God Bless!

Justin

At once they left their nets and followed Him…

“As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.  When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.” ~ Mark 1:16-20 NIV

I’ve been thinking a lot about this particular verse the last several weeks. As I’m getting closer to my date to leave the states (I leave on March 30^th) I find myself consumed with a lot of things that I need to get done before my internship starts. One of the things that I’ve been working on is trying to determine what I will need for my 7 month internship in Haiti. Over the past several years, I have packed for many a short term mission trip, but trying to plan for 7 months had me a little befuddled. Not only the personal items (Clothing, shampoo, etc.), but trying to plan the basic needs for my type of ministry, so that I will be able to hit the ground running in March. It’s all a little overwhelming. On top of that, in order to get anything I need to Haiti, I either have to carry it in when I fly in, or I need to get it up to the warehouse in Zionsville, so it can be loaded onto a container and start making its way to Haiti. I’ve actually already got a couple of boxes of supplies on their way, loaded in a container that left a couple weeks ago. I think that these supplies should get to the NWHCM campus about the same time I do, or a little before.

Anyway, as I’ve been planning and packing, I got to thinking about the great faith of the early disciples, who, when called by Jesus, immediately stopped what they were doing, left everything they had and everyone they knew, and followed Jesus. Can you imagine the tremendous faith that it must have taken to simply stand, leave everything behind and follow. I stand in awe of these simple men who answered His call and set forth to change the World. Even though thy were plagued with doubts and trials throughout their ministry, they still answered when called and they served God with all their lives.

I know God is calling me to serve in Haiti, and I’m very excited to see how God will use me for His glory. I have always wanted to serve, and I look forward to serving the people of Haiti, however He chooses to use me.

I would encourage everyone to put their Faith and Trust in God, to be still and listen for His guidance, and when called, to not question. Just Follow where He leads!

You will be blessed!

Justin

Blessings & Sorrow

Hello everyone, I just wanted to take a few minutes and comment on a couple of events that I experienced this week. First, the blessings:

I was blessed to go to the Northwest Haiti Christian Mission warehouse in Zionsville on Wednesday to help load a couple of containers full of food bound for Haiti. In a little under 6 hours, myself and four other volunteers were able to load 2 shipping containers with enough packaged rice meals[1] to provide meals for over 450,000 people in Haiti! Not only is it wonderful and amazing to see so much food going to people in desperate need, but the fact that all of this food was purchased by donation, packaged with love by people young and old throughout the country, and is going to those who need it most! What a wonderful blessing it was for me to be just a small part of serving so many!

Also this week, I was blessed to help sew diapers for the NWHCM birthing center with a great group of people here at FCC. For over 10 years, a dedicated and ever growing group of volunteers has met several times a year to sew re-useable cloth diapers that we send down for the mission to use, and give out to new mothers at the birthing center. This week, in four days, our group was able to sew 345 diapers, and have a lot in various stages, ready to go for the next sewing event, scheduled for April. Not only do a lot of wonderful people volunteer to sew these diapers, but also it is funded completely through donations, a lot of which they get  through their “Dimes for Diapers” campaign, where people donate their spare change to help provide diapers for children in Haiti. Just another example of small things that we can do every day, seemingly insignificant  things, which can grow to have great results throughout the Kingdom!

Finally, on a sadder note, I learned this week of a friend of mine is struggling with some very serious family issues. While I don’t want to elaborate and get into details, just suffice to say that their family is facing great turmoil, and is desperately in need of prayer. My heart goes out to her and her entire family and I pray that God will grant them strength and peace through these troubling times.

God is everywhere, in all things, at all times. Sometimes His will is easy to see, sometimes it is incredibly difficult ( if not impossible). We just need to be strong and carry on in faith that all things can be and are used by Him for his purpose. It doesn’t make our pain any easier, our grief any less, but it does offer hope for tomorrow.

I would like to ask for prayers for my friend, and I pray that you all will continue to seek ways, big and small, to serve your fellow man and woman, and the Kingdom of God!

God Bless you all!

Justin

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[1] For more information on this type of program, please visit the “Kids Against hunger” website at http://www.kidsagainsthunger.org/ or the “Feed My Starving Children” website at http://www.fmsc.org/.

Sharing my story

Hey all I hope everyone is having a great winter! I wanted to take a couple of minutes just to catch up with all of you. Things have been progressing very well here in my world, and I wanted to share it with all of you.

As a missionary in Haiti, I need to raise financial support in the amount of $1300.⁰⁰ per month in order to serve. This amount will cover all of my expenses in Haiti, the cost of travel to and from, as well as the cost for health / life insurance. Sitting here at this point in my journey, and looking out at the prospect of finding enough people and churches willing to help support me for the foreseeable suture is very daunting. I think one of the hardest things about going onto the field is finding support, especially in the current economy. Not that people don’t realize the need and want to help, its just finding the “extra” money. It’s difficult, but obviously never impossible. God is in control of all things, uses all things to His purpose, and as followers of the King, we are commanded to spread His truth to the four corners of the world.

“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” ~ Matthew 28:18-20 NIV

All that being said, I know that God is with me and is directing me as I seek to serve in Haiti. Since my first short-term trip in 2008, I have known that I am meant to serve on the mission filed, and my constant prayer since then has been for God to show me where and how He wants to use my life for His glory. I may not know what He has in store for me, or how it will work out, but I know that it will work for His glory if I just put it in His hands, and allow Him to work in my life.

On Saturday January 7^th , the Brazil Times, our local newspaper printed an article that they did about me, and my journey unto the mission field (here is a link to their story: http://www.thebraziltimes.com/story/1802108.html). It is a great story, and I am blessed that they chose to write about me, as it’s just another way to get my story out. My hope is that I will not only garner prayer (and possibly some financial) support, but maybe I will also encourage some other people to step out into the mission field, to serve and feel the same joy that I feel while working for the Lord. I’ve also been interviewed by the Spencer Evening World (my hometown)about doing a story, so I’m looking forward to sharing my journey with some old friends from home.

I have been sending out batches of letters to friends and family asking for their support, and I have also been contacting local churches, hopefully in order to have a chance to present my calling to their congregations. Along with this, I have been blessed to meet with several groups at our church to talk about my service, including several of our adult Bible study classes and small groups. I have to admit that I am really not comfortable speaking in front of groups of people, never have been and never will.  But once I get up and start speaking of my mission I generally calm down and do a decent job of representing myself, without looking like a blithering idiot J

I should be very nervous, worried and scared about all of this. I should be apprehensive about my future and my work in Haiti. I should be, but I’m not. I know God is in control, and I know God will see me through. At the end of the day, all we have is the knowledge of God’s truth and His promise for our lives.

What more do we need?

God Bless you all,

Justin

P.S. ~ On Sunday, February 19^th following services at FCC, we are hosting a “Hearts for Haiti” fundraising dinner. For $5 a person you can have a great dinner (Spaghetti with choice of sauce, salad, bread, dessert and a drink), enjoy some fellowship and learn more about Northwest Haiti Christian Mission, their ministry in Haiti, and my impending service with them. We will also be having some live entertainment and a silent auction, with all of the proceeds going to help support my work in Haiti. I would love to invite anyone in the Brazil area to come out on the 19^th, have some great food and learn ways you can be involved in Haiti!