Dancing with Roseloure

This is my friend Roseloure (pronounced Rose-Lore), a bright and bubbly 8 year old girl who lives in the Miriam Center. She always has a beautiful smile on her face, and her laugh can dissolve even the foulest mood that I have experienced.

I received a lot of counsel from friends, family and other missionaries about my expectations upon coming to Haiti. I know that I cannot be a single great force to save the country. I won’t end hunger, I won’t cure Cholera, and I won’t bring the country out of the slavery of voodoo and into the presence of God. Missionary work is all about allowing God to use you for His purpose, it’s not about you, it’s about the Kingdom. I fully understand that, I am here simply to serve, no matter who or how, for the glory of God.

All that being said, I have still struggled since I have been in Haiti with exactly where and how I fit in at the mission, where I belong.  As I attempt to serve all of the ministries and missionaries here, I find that I always feel like an outsider, I’m involved in the ministry, but not really a part of it.  Part of my struggle revolves around why I came here in the first place. Maintenance is a hard thing to pin down, my days can involve a little bit of everything, from unclogging toilets to loading and unloading crates with the forklift to building shelves for a depot. Some days are worse, spending countless hours trying to track down the money or the supplies just to fix a minor problem, and when that fails having to “Redneck Engineer” a temporary solution. These are all jobs that need doing, but at the end of the day, it’s hard to feel like you’ve accomplished much, really made a difference. Now don’t get me wrong, I knew most of this going in. I have worked maintenance at my church with people I love and consider family for the last 5 years, and even there, sometimes it was a struggle to feel like I “fit in”. Actually, I’ve struggled with this all of my life; I guess I just didn’t realize how much more these feelings would affect me in Haiti. It’s been bad enough that I have, much to the annoyance of some of my fellow missionariesJ, tried to make a place for myself in their ministries. I’ve tried to create worth by involving myself in places where I’m not really needed or wanted.

Anyway, let’s get back to Roseloure. Ever since I was “adopted” by my boy Sandley in the Miriam Center, I have spent a lot of time with the kids there, have been slowly getting over my fear of small children, and have really enjoyed getting to know the kids. A few days ago, I was down in the MC, there was music playing, and Roseloure was dancing around. She came up to me and held out her arms, and without thinking, I swept her up I’m my arms and danced her around the courtyard, much to her delight. Now, this may be hard to believe for those of you who don’t know me, but I am not a dancer. In fact, I have never actually danced with anyone before in my life. But none of that mattered to Roseloure, who was smiling and giggling as I spun her around and around. Since that time, there have been several times, as I’m passing through the MC, that Roseloure and I will “cut a rug”.

So, it occurred to me as I was smiling and thinking of our latest dance, that maybe I have been blinded by my own need to be a part of something, that I can’t see what I really am a part of. As I look for significance in fixing a problem at the mission, accomplishing a certain task, in belonging to something or in being part of a team, am I missing the true reason that God has called me here? My life, heart and soul have so been changed by my relationship with Sandley that it quite frankly scares me. When he cries, my heart breaks. The thought of having to leave him in November brings tears to my eyes even now. As more and more of the kids work their way into my heart, is that why I am here? Is my calling here simply to help feed, comfort, love (and yes, even change his diapers) Sandley? Am I here to help Den-Den up when he falls, to joke with Gilbert, to make Kem, Sherlanda and Walden laugh when I sneak up on them and “scare” them, to be as much a part of their lives as I can? Am I here to dance with Roseloure?

Maybe so. Maybe I’m here to serve and be a witness for what God can do with and through a thoroughly unimpressive, messed up, broken sinner who has been saved only by His Grace and Mercy. In the end, that’s all I really have that I can offer, living my life as a testimony for what God’s love can do for everyone. Instead of searching for significance, instead of what I think I need or want, I should just serve how I can, quit my whining and let God use me as He wants.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace, Your salvation, and mostly for allowing me to serve You and the Kingdom in Haiti. I pray that You grant me the ability to be a good witness of Your glory and grace, and I pray that I can be the man you want me to be, serving how you want me to serve. I will go where You tell me to go, I will serve how You want me to serve, and I will try to love just like You have shown Your love to me and the world. Amen.

Experiencing Haiti

The first week of august was fairly significant in our lives here at the mission. Not only did it signify the last group of short term teams for the year, but it was also when all of our interns from the summer headed home.  It’s kind of bittersweet, it’s a lot calmer around here when all the groups are gone, but it also means that there is a lot less ministry going on. Plus, saying goodbye to a bunch of great interns that you have come to know and love. It’s kind of like losing a whole bunch of your family all at once.

However, I was super excited because my sister Corinna came in with the last group for a visit! Not only was it great to see here and visit, but I also was able to go out with her and experience Haiti. It had occurred to me that other than a coup0le of trips with the Miriam Center kids to Bonneau, I really had not left the Saint Louis campus since I’ve been here in March. Not that there weren’t plenty of opportunities in the last few months, but there just always seemed to be so much to do around here. I had decided that, since I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Corinna while she was here, I would take the opportunity to tag along with her group as they went out around the country.

It was really a great but tiring week! As well as doing all my regular work around campus, I was able to sneak out and do some “hut to huts”, where we just went out into the community, going where the spirit lead, and stopping at homes to talk with the families and to pray with and for them. This was an interesting experience, just walking out through the area around the mission, searching out those that we felt led to find, and praying for them.

We took off one morning for the isle of Tortuga, just about an hour sailboat ride off the coast of Haiti. It was a beautiful sail to the island, although I have to admit I’m not a big fan of the ride J Once we made it to Tortuga, our group split up into two, one providing a VBS and playing with the local kids for a couple of hours, the other group ran a medical clinic for the time we were there. Can you guess which one I was a part of? That’s right! I was blessed to help out the nurse and 2 medical students that were with us that week, to help organize and disperse the needed meds they prescribed. It was very interesting seeing the variety of medical issues coming in, but it was difficult (and I’m sure very difficult for the medical people) to try to help people with the meager medical supplies that we had to offer. But, they did a great job, and before you knew it we had seen around 30 – 40 patients and it was time to pack up our goodies, head to the beach, and wade out to the boat and start the trip back.

The next day we traveled to Anse Lafleur (pronounced Awn-sah-fa-lore), a town on the coast where unfortunately the practice of Voodoo is still extremely prevalent. I was very interested to go to, as I have been interested in trying to learn more about the “religion” of voodoo, and why people would choose to believe in a “faith” based in fear, intimidation and pain. The trip to Anse Lafleur was as uneventful as any other road trip in Haiti, and soon we were pulling over on a side street in town. We got out and started walking up towards a pretty steep looking hill. When asked, our Intern guides said it was an easy 10 minute walk up to the Monument. At this point, I would like to stop to express my amazement at what some people would consider an easy walk. As I clambered up the hill, climbing over rocks and past small Voodoo alters, I began to wonder if this was just some kind of hazing ritual our interns had come up with to torment the teams, but finally, we rounded a corner and were presented with a beautiful view of the ocean and Anse Lafleur, as well as the broken and scorched remnants of a huge cross. The story goes that many years ago, the Catholic Church built an enormous cross overlooking Anse, in order to claim the town for Christ. Sometime later, the cross collapsed in a huge storm, and at the same time a “magic” doll fell from the sky, so everyone in town took that as a sign, and embraces voodoo and the doll as their god. The doll is still enshrined in town, and apparently for the right price, you can get in to see her. Or there are all sorts of comemerative  souvenirs for sale in town J

Anyway, back to the monument. We gathered at the base of the monument and prayed for the people of Haiti, that they would be released from the bondage of voodoo and come to know the love of Christ. Following our prayer, we ventured back down the mountain to a small private beach, where we did a short VBS and spent some time just playing with the kids. A couple hours later, after we were all thoroughly exhausted, we loaded up, stopped for a quick bite at a local restaurant, and headed back toward St. Louis.

One Afternoon we took the walk down through town and to the waterfall, about an hour and a half away. It was a nice, fairly simple walk, and we soon ended up at the waterfall.  The waterfall itself wasn’t huge, but was quite beautiful, and it was really nice to see some of the natural beauty of Haiti, and just relax for a bit.

As we were walking back, I was smacked really hard on the top of my head by something, hard enough to snap my teeth together and stagger me a bit. As I turned around to see who had hit me with what, the people behind were laughing and pointing at a huge mango that apparently had fallen from the tree and cracked me right on the head. The Haitians all assured me that it is a sign of good luck, but the lump on my head said otherwise J (and yes, I did take my vengeance on the mango and ate it)

 One of my favorite activities was to go with the short term group and the Miriam Center kids to Bonneau, a playground about a half hour bus ride away, built for the Miriam Center kids. This was an especially fun trip for me as I got to take Sandley along for his first time. We rode down the slide together; we got to go see a cow and a goat. It was a wonderful morning spent with all the MC kids, but especially great to share with Sandley and Corinna!

 One of the last things we did was to go and spend some time at the nearby city of LaPointe. Right next to the hospital in LaPointe, is a small orphanage that is mainly geared towards helping kids who are rehabbing from surgeries or injuries, but has become

We arrived and set up for a short lesson and craft with the kids, then the fun really began!  We broke out tons of bubbles, jump ropes, balls and other fun stuff and spent a couple of hours just playing with the kids. It was really a lot of fun, and I think that we were as sad to go as they were to see us go.

 This was really a great week, to not only get to see Haiti, but to share it with family as well! I’ll admit, some of the things I am more than happy to say that I tried once, and don’t necessarily need to do again, but some of the experience I hope to be able to do again soon!